Endings and beginnings

the beach2

It’s been two years this month since I began this blog! True to it’s name, I have found great solace in taking pictures and words and popping them up here. Life keeps changing though doesn’t it? And I feel that it is time for something a little different.

Therefore, I’ve decided to refresh this blog in order to better reflect my general headspace lately and, more practically, the time I have at present for online musings. I will continue to write under the name My Isle of Serenity, however, in a week or two I will take down all the previous content and revamp the format I use here.

I want to take this opportunity to thank you all very much for reading along, for your feedback, comments and contributions.

Looking forward to catching up again sometime in my refreshed corner of the blogging world. Much love x

The seeds grew!

seedlings2

Hello all! Apologies for the long blogging silence…just been settling into life with two days paid work in the mix. It’s going really well, just taking some adjusting to! I’m working on a post bout returning to work after a very long maternity leave…but in the meantime I thought I’d share a little garden update.

Continue reading “The seeds grew!”

Solitary time

James on lake

Aahhh, solitude. Over the past ten or so years I’ve noticed a pattern (and yes, it has take me ten years to notice something my husband could have pointed out to me probably much earlier than that…!). The pattern is this: after a day at home with little or no interaction with others I am practically a different person. Continue reading “Solitary time”

Thank you

poppy

Dear online readers and friends,

Firstly, I wanted to say something in my recent posts about fertility and didn’t (I’m not really sure why), but I’d like to say it now:

My heart goes out to anyone who read those posts who wants to have children but was never (or not yet) able to and to those who have lost a child (or children) at any age or stage. I cannot begin to fathom the depths of your grief and do hope that in sharing my grief I have in no way caused you offense or hurt of any kind. 

Secondly I wanted to thank you for reading. I agonised about whether to share them but am glad that I did because some of you said that you somehow found my not-especially well-written, raw-and-a-bit-rambling, blurting-out-of-feelings posts somewhat helpful. Continue reading “Thank you”

A return to the paid workforce

hiddentreasure3

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh….

a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend…” 

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

It seems to be my time to return to the paid workforce. I have spent over five years now predominately using my time and energy in my home to practically and emotionally serve and support my family. If you have followed this blog for a while you will probably know that the transition to parenthood was not an easy one and for a while I mourned the loss of my job and all the comforts it provided me. It proved challenging for me to juggle work and small children and so I have been a stay at home mum until now.

Continue reading “A return to the paid workforce”

the surprise of secondary infertility (grief and envy)

the beach5

I have finally gotten around to writing about our current situation involving secondary infertility.

Secondary infertility. I never knew it existed! Having enjoyed the luxury of two utterly uncomplicated pregnancies and births, I think we were lulled into a false sense of security, not ever imagining that we would have a moment’s trouble should we wish to add to our family again (which we did). We remained aware of the general risks of miscarriage and unexpected complications of pregnancy, however, we had not heard of secondary infertility. Continue reading “the surprise of secondary infertility (grief and envy)”

the pain in my heart that won’t go away (or waiting expectantly)

the beach5

Secondary infertility is not an easy topic to discuss and many people, understandably, choose not to talk about it. However, that can leave some of us feeling a little isolated or alone, wondering if what we are feeling is “normal” or not. Therefore, I thought it might be time to give an update on whats been going on for us lately because writing helps me and, hopefully, may help others a little too.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I have found it hard to blog lately. Mainly because this blog is an honest reflection of what I’m thinking about and how I’m feeling. And lately, I’ve been struggling. What it boils down to is this: I’m embarrassed. I’m embarrassed about this grief I feel. I wish I wast grieving. I wish the feelings of sadness and loss just weren’t there. However desperately I wish these feelings would go away, they haven’t.  Indeed, I’m starting to think that fighting against this undeniable grief might be making things worse.

I don’t fully understand myself all the time and I certainly don’t understand my reaction to our situation of secondary infertility. But the fact of the matter is, I’m struggling with it. The fact of the matter is, there is a pain in my heart and no matter what I do, it just won’t go away. Continue reading “the pain in my heart that won’t go away (or waiting expectantly)”

writing here

the beach5

I couldn’t bring myself to write much here earlier this year. I had a strange kind of writers block possibly best described as the reluctant writers block. Because, for me, this is the place where I work things out. Good things and hard things. Writing here just helps somehow. I think for me this is a place where joys shared are doubled, and burdens are shared and halved. 

And yet, working things out in a blog ain’t easy. Continue reading “writing here”