…ideas of a big family, siblings for my two, a long “career” as a mother of young children, lazy chats at playgroups, an easy social network of ready-made “mum” friends…
Balancing contentment with longing; acceptance with hope; perfecting the tightrope walk of living with decidedly uncontrollable unknowns amidst a present that holds so many joys too wonderful to be missed.
Today, all I can think of is all the little children.
The ones I see week after week whose greatest achievement each day, and sometimes only achievement, is to simply get to school. Little children who got themselves up out of bed, packed their own lunch, found their own clothes to wear and possibly left the house without someone to even say goodbye to them.
No warm hugs, no kisses, no ‘love you!’ Whispered into a grateful ear. Just a parent in bed, sleeping in or sleeping off the night before or perhaps simply too weary of life itself to gather the wherewithal to get up and keep on keeping on.
Gazing round my garden in the warmth of an autumns evening with the weight of these children’s woes pressing heavy, my thoughts drift to seeds.
Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty if our strength endures; yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away. Psalm 90:10
I attended his funeral as a community member.
I did not know him personally, this strapping young man, but only of him and his young sister who attends the school I work at, and in support of her and school staff and simply as a member of the community, I attended his funeral.
Welcome back if you have read along before and welcome if you are new to this space!
This is the second edition of my isle of serenity and there is some back story to many of the first few posts you will read but hopefully the posts will stand on their own and make sense well enough.
This second edition kicks off with a journal post from back in November 2017 and from there will hopefully fill in some important gaps up until the present day.
In an attempt to make reading along a little easier, especially for those new here, the big backstory of edition one is one of unexplained secondary infertility and, spoiler alert, we were after five years graced with a long awaited third child! Gratitude only begins to describe how I feel…a little more on that later.
I’m also going to experiment with some new categories: the journal (personal reflections), the country (stories from our time in the country), the city (stories from our time in the city), philosophy & theology, and ‘who is wise among you’ (bits of gold from my new favourite book – Proverbs).
I hope you enjoy! Comment or email as you please (firstname.lastname@example.org)