Chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) feels taboo to me because it is, well….weird. Because it just doesn’t seem like a real thing. There’s a certain stigma attached to it. It’s invisible (obviously). There’s no definitive test for a diagnosis. And, for me at least (because it is mild in my case) I often actually feel “fine” and present as “fine” (or more than fine even). Until I’m not. And then I’m really not fine.
It is actually still hard, even for me, to believe that this “chronic fatigue thing” exists, and that I am trapped in its world. To this day, it is extremely hard for me to comprehend what has happened, and continues to happen, to my body. Which is why I’ve taken to affectionately joking with my husband about CFS – my “fake illness”. Because it really does feel unreal.
In his recent book “On Writing” Stephen King reflects that, among many things, he often ends up writing about work. “People love to read about work. God knows why, but they do” he says.
I’ve certainly found much to reflect on when it comes to work, but I’m rather glad to be at the end of this little bit of work. It has taken up much emotional and mental space and I am ready to move on with renewed vigour and, well, get back to work.
I want to write a little about some topics that might sometimes be considered to be a little bit taboo. Well, taboo is probably too strong a word. Perhaps the topics I’m thinking of would be better described as awkward or uncomfortable rather than completely taboo.